


It's Almost Enough

by espioc



Series: It's Enough. [2]
Category: Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: M/M, Mech preg in very end, Other, Sexual interfaceing, Some Ratchet, mentions of spike removal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 14:09:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3293249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espioc/pseuds/espioc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prequel to It's Enough, read note again please.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Almost Enough

**Author's Note:**

> So, due to a request, I have created a prequel to It’s Enough. This is the story of how Blurr got his spike removed, with a little added stuff to how they built up to where they are in It’s Enough. I hope it satisfies the requester.
> 
> Also, question, since it’s a prequel do I have to add it to a collection?

Blurr held fast to the sheets of the berth as he squirmed beneath his partner, who rammed him into the head board. “Shockwave,” he panted “Faster” he put his hands on the head board to prevent hitting his head, to little avail. The larger mech refused his mates request and continued at a normal pace.

“Oh you jerk,” Blurr panted, putting his arms down to grasp the sheets once again “Come on,”

“Patience Blurr,” Shockwave groaned, leaning down to nuzzle his partner’s neck. Blurr wrapped his arms around the tank and held on tight as an overload hit him hard, Shockwave coming soon after, filling the smaller bot’s swollen valve with transfluid. All movement stopped as they both rode an overload. Blurr’s spike exploded between them and his valve contracted around the thick member stuck into it.

Blurr let out a shaky groan as he felt the wonderful sensation of being filled. He released his partner and fell back onto the pillow “I love when you do that,” he mumbled before Shockwave pulled out, bringing a flood of lubricant and transfluid with him.

“We’ve made a mess,” Shockwave pointed out. Blurr smiled, bringing his arms back around the tanks neck “Maybe we should go make another mess in the wash wracks.” He suggested, sitting up slightly. Shockwave climbed from the berth and picked up his partner, surprising the blue bot a bit. Without a word he brought them to the wash wracks, drew a bath, and placed his mate inside.

“This is different,” Blurr pointed out, lying back in the oversized tub, that to him was more like a swimming pool. Shockwave climbed in and pulled the smaller bot into his lap while reaching around to caress Blurr’s still open valve. The speedster gasped at the touch, leaning back into his partners embrace “You know Shockwave,” his speech was slightly impaired by the pleasure session “I’ve been thinking lately,” he gasped as the sharp claws scratched his interior nodes “I’ve been thinking, I think we should.” He moaned for a moment, relaxing into the claws before tensing again “I think that maybe we should—we should take another-” Shockwave gave the valve lips a sharp pinch, interrupting his partner again. This did not discourage the normally fast talker from continuing “I think we should take another step in our relationship,” he proposed quickly, ignoring for one second the hand job being delivered to him.

“We have already spark bonded,” Shockwave pointed out “How many more steps can we possibly take?”

“I was thinking,” Blurr panted “A-a sparkling.”

Shockwave stopped. After a moment he removed his servos but said nothing, prompting his partner to look at him. Blurr turned around in his lap, straddling the much larger mech “It was—just a suggestion.” He started hesitantly. Blurr had only been with Shockwave for ten stellar cycles since the end of the war. Through that ten stellar cycles their relationship has hit many small bumps, including a lack of acceptance from their fellow Autobots and Decepticons, a few major arguments and, in the very beginning, the difficulty spark bonding. Now, though, Blurr wanted to push past everything that they’d been through and start a family together, because he thought they could do it. They could do it without worrying about what everyone else thought or what argument would be coming next. He wanted to raise a sparkling with his spark mate and he wanted to carry that sparkling.

After a minute, with no response from Shockwave, Blurr retracted his proposal “I’m sorry” he apologized “It was a stupid suggestion, why would I even suggest that, how could we raise a sparkling with all of the work you do and we could barely even spark bond I might not be able to get sparked, who knows, it was stupid, stupid stupid stupid-” Shockwave put a finger to the bots lips.

“It is not stupid,” he assured “Far from it in fact. If you want to have a sparkling, Blurr, I will give you a sparkling. I am wondering, though, do you really want one?”

Blurr was taken aback slightly, staring in confused silence for a moment before shaking it off and replying “Yes,” he confirmed quickly “Yes yes yes, I want a sparkling, of course I do, that’s why I asked. I wasn’t sure if—you would want one.”

“I would not be opposed to the idea. I am wondering, though, if you’d be willing to do what is necessary to conceive a sparkling.”

Blurr’s face twisted with confusion “What do you mean? We interface and spark bond all the time, doing it at the same time can’t be too difficult-”

“No, I am referring to the pesky little device called a spike of which you still possess.”

Blurr’s hands instinctively shot to his crotch “I’m not getting it removed.” He said instantly “I don’t care how much easier it is for me to conceive a sparkling without it, I’m not getting it removed.”

“My dear, we were unable to spark bond until our hundredth try. What makes you think it will be any easier to conceive a sparkling without any assistance?”

“By trying the same amount of times that we did when we were trying to spark bond.” A smirk snuck onto the blue racers lips despite an effort to stop it “It’s not as though either of us would mind, right? We do it almost three days a week already, what would a few more times really do?”

“Interface may be enjoyable now, my dear, but after doing it twice a day every day, I’m sure it will get old eventually.”

Blurr just waved him off “I’m almost half sure that it won’t”

Shockwave nearly chuckled “You realize there’s more than one reason to get your spike removed.”

“Yes but none of them are good reasons.” Blurr grumbled, rolling his optics and crossing his arms. Shockwave took hold of his bots waist and pulled him forward for a kiss. Blurr denied him for a moment, turning his head away, but soon gave in and put his lips to the empty face plate. He hummed as the kiss deepened, nearly forgetting the conversation at hand. Nearly.

“So when should we start?” he asked, keeping his face plate close to his partners “If this is going to take as long as you assume we should start soon right?” Blurr proposed, wrapping his arms around Shockwave’s neck.

“We just interfaced.” Shockwave pointed out, pulling the bot even closer.

“That doesn’t mean we can’t do it again,” Blurr countered, delivering another kiss which his partner gladly pushed into. At the end of it, though, Shockwave was not to be swayed “Not tonight my dear,” he starter, loosening his grip on the smaller bot’s hips “We’ve already cleaned ourselves up, no need to make any more messes tonight. I will give you something to look forward to tomorrow though.”

“What about tomorrow morning?”

“We will see my dear.”

The two finished cleansing themselves before drying off and making their way to the berth where both fell into recharge fairly quickly. Blurr always began recharging in his partner’s arms, but sometime ended up shifting so drastically in the night by morning he was sprawled across Shockwave’s middle sideways, or halfway off the bed.

The next morning he ended up sprawled across Shockwave’s middle, which was always a problem for the larger bot because he woke up much earlier than Blurr and did not wish to disturb his still slumbering partner. Shockwave slipped a hand under Blurr’s stomach and head and gently lifted him away from his waist, careful not to wake the smaller bot. It was nearly impossible not to disturb a resting Blurr, though, the bot was so sensitive. More often than not Blurr woke up when his partner was removing him but pretended to remain in recharge. Today, however, as he fell limp over Shockwave’s claws while being laid back on the berth, he decided to wake up.

He couldn’t help but let a smile slip onto his face “Can we interface now?” he asked, half joking, never opening his optics. Light claws tickled his waist and, even with his eyes closed, Blurr could feel Shockwave lean down to him “Not until later,” he whispered, then cruelly running his claws against the anxious interface panel, snapping it back instantly to expose a hungry valve. He went no further, leaving Blurr’s heated body lying on the berth, impatiently waiting for the claws to return. Blurr grumbled with aggravation “You are a real fragger sometimes, you know that?” he mumbled as his partner leaned away. Blurr sat up on his elbows and watched as Shockwave prepared to leave “You’re really going to leave me hanging.” He stated, almost in a question.

Shockwave returned to the berth and ran a claw lightly under his beautiful mates chin “Rest now, love, it is too early for you to wake.” He stated, leaning down so the blue bot could give him a kiss. Blurr obliged with some hesitation. When they separated he was lightly pushed back into the berth and coerced back into recharge by Shockwave’s smooth voice telling him to do so. He lightly gripped the claw caressing his face plate before it pulled away, leaving with it’s host and leaving Blurr alone.

 

* * *

 

  

Shockwave made his way to the Decepticon executive building where he looked over some political aspects of the Decepticon party but mostly saw over the scientific part of things. One section of those scientific endeavors was developing weapons. It was not his common place but it did come up every once in a while. Having no interest in starting the war again Shockwave urged Megatron to give up on new weapons development in the time of peace but Megatron insisted they always be prepared, just in case the Autobots, or he himself, decided to dismiss the peace treaty. Shockwave could not entire disagree considering there was some logic in the idea.

Much to Shockwave’s displeasure he was assigned, this day, to weapons development, a field he exceled in but did not find exceedingly useful to him. He _was_ a gun, a majority of Decepticons were guns, or at least had one attached to them, why did he need to develop more? He particularly hated it because of a certain bot he was forced to work with in this sector.

Lugnut had become the designated weapons tester along with Blitzwing. The three faced bot, however, was sent to a different sector to do something else. This left Shockwave and Lugnut, a combination similar to nitroglycerin and decomposition, not a fun thing to be around when it finally explodes.

When Shockwave arrived Lugnut was already there and immediately began criticizing him for being late and wasting Megatron’s time.

“I don’t see how I could be wasting his time when I was just with him and he _just_ assigned me to this sector this morning.” Shockwave countered, already tired of the obnoxious hectoring. He laid out the plans for a new weapon Megatron wanted completed and tested in two days. Shockwave told him he could not guarantee the project be done in two days but he assured the lord he would try.

Shockwave tapped his claws on the table, thinking. He looked around the lab for a moment and scanned over the plans, which he helped create but was now finding slightly mediocre. “Was I half in recharge?” he mumbled to himself, reading over the data pads. Most of the research involved with building it was already done, all they needed now was a working prototype.

Why Lugnut had to be present for this stage in development was a mystery.

Finding that the lab did not provide everything he would need Shockwave made his way to the control panel to get a few things delivered.

“What are you doing?” asked Lugnut, paying close attention to the bot he believed to be a traitor.

“I need more materials, I’m getting them delivered. You are unneeded at the moment, you should probably leave.” Shockwave tried, despite knowing his obnoxious colleague would not vacate the premises.

Lugnut did something similar to a scoff “I would never leave you alone with a delivery bot on his way, who knows what disgusting acts you’d commit in this lab.”

“I am more professional than that,” Shockwave half growled, putting in his request for supplies “And most of the supplies I’m ordering are too large for a single bot to carry, especially one of my mate’s stature. I doubt he will come anywhere near this lab today.”

Lugnut half growled “How can you possibly call that Autobot scum your mate? You are a disgrace to the Decepticon symbol! You know Megatron does not approve of what you’re doing!”

“I don’t particularly care about what Megatron thinks on that matter. The peace treaty permits it and he signed it. With all of the time I spent as Longarm so long ago I almost believe he should have expected something like this.”

“How could you ignore our glorious leader!?” Lugnut raged “You should be more grateful that he did not demote you! Or completely banish you from our ranks!”

“My relations have nothing to do with my abilities. I am surprised he has not demoted _you,_ Lugnut, considering how useful you’ve become since the end of the war. What need does Megatron have for a babbling fool like you, useful for nothing else but weapons testing?”

Lugnut growled in anger at the statement, ready to tackle the enraging bot “I am still loyal to our great lord Megatron!” he yelled “While you remain loyal to your petty Autobot lover! How can you call yourself a Decepticon now that you’ve spoiled yourself with that tiny sorry excuse for a bot!”

Sometimes Shockwave enjoyed enraging the narrow minded bot simply because Lugnut could do nothing about the scientists actions. Other times he just wanted to smack the imbecile. This was one of those times, but Shockwave was a bit more civil than that and more often than not held back. He wasn’t one to get extremely defensive, if the Decepticons wished to ridicule him for being with an Autobot, so be it. The situation did not impair his intellect or ability to work, so it was of little concern.

In about two hours all of the required materials were delivered to the lab and Shockwave got to work. Halfway through building Shockwave realized he’d forgotten an entire fourth of the plan in a file at home. Most of the plans were kept in the lab, but, due to certain unstable elements Shockwave took part of them home to work on. He could probably build the weapon without it but the tank preferred to be safe on projects Megatron believed to be of utmost importance.

Shockwave contacted Blurr through the comm. Link and requested he bring him the file. The first time he tried he got no reply from the blue bot.

“Blurr!” he requested a bit louder, waking up the speedster who had still been in recharge. Blurr flinched awake and hopped on his comm. “What? What is it?” he said, sitting up in bed. It was still slightly early for Blurr.

While it wasn’t entirely necessary for Shockwave speak aloud on the comm. Link he sometimes did just to annoy Lugnut. It was slightly immature but even Shockwave was allowed a few immature moments per stellar cycle.

“Sorry to wake you darling, but I need something delivered to me from my office. I’m sure you need to get up anyways.”

Blurr threw the blanket off himself and climbed from the berth “I had a whole ‘nother hour.” He grumbled, making his way to Shockwave’s office.

“It should be the only file on the desk,” Shockwave explained, continuing to place components into the half complete medium sized weapon on the table.

“Is it the one with the weapons plans in it?” asked Blurr bluntly.

“If that is the only data pad on the desk then I can only assume. What have I told you about looking through my flies?”

“I don’t know. If it was not to do it then I clearly forgot because I look through your files all the time. I’m an intelligence agent, I can’t help it.”

“Hm, I suppose I’ll have to punish you then. Maybe later tonight I’ll tie you to the berth and teach you a lesson.”

Blurr hummed “Sounds excruciating, but we’re trying for a sparkling, remember?—Lugnut’s somewhere in front of you isn’t he?”

“He may be.”

Shockwave glanced at Lugnut sitting in silent rage in a seat beside the door to the test area. Shockwave drew his attention back to Blurr and the weapon “Will you bring me the file then? I need it.” He requested. Apparently Blurr was not to be swayed from the last subject though “Why don’t you two get along?” he asked, picking up the data pad and walking out of the room “You both have one optic.”

“There is much more to getting along than mere similarity. You and I get along perfectly and we’re from entirely opposite sides.”

Blurr shrugged on the other end before he took off running. He arrived at the lab in less than two minutes. Blurr wasn’t actually allowed in the laboratory due to his Autobot status, but he delivered the files to the door with Lugnut watching the couple intensely from within the room.

Shockwave thanked his partner before leaning down for a kiss. Blurr smirked “You’ll just have to wait until later like me this morning,” he stated, then taking off. Shockwave returned to his work with Lugnut continuing to glare at him, emitting a low rumble of disapproval.

“Quit your whining,” Shockwave demanded “You choose to acknowledge us when our relations are frankly none of your business.”

Lugnut fumed with rage “The betrayal of your own kind is my business!” he raged, standing up “It is my duty to report to Megatron anything against his great and glorious rule! And your actions are treasonous!”

Shockwave’s temper was getting shorter by the second “Will you quit that constant yelling.” he demanded irritably “How am I supposed to build this with your relentless foolish nagging? For the last time, my partner has no effect on my views or my abilities. I know you are thick, Lugnut, but I don’t know why I must explain that to you every thirty astro seconds.”

Lugnut’s anger continued to grow. He wanted to tackle the bot to the ground and beat the tar out of him. He could, too, most likely, but did not due to Megatron’s orders to get along well enough not to kill each other. Blitzwing usually managed to keep the peace but Blitzwing wasn’t there, so all bets were off the table.

Shockwave installed one of the last few components “It would be more useful to both of us if for once in your life cycle you could refrain from yelling about everything that travels through that pea sized processor of yours. I doubt you could stay calm for more than an earth second.”

“I have no reason to keep calm before you! I can do so if I choose!”

“No you can’t” Shockwave insisted, readjusting part of the weapons systems “You have very little self-control, if any. You’re one track mind prevents you from seeing the full picture and understanding things as simple as me telling you that I am still a Decepticon. It also prevents you from keeping calm due to your constant need to counter and defend anything said in relevance to Megatron.” Shockwave explained bluntly, finishing the last component within the machine. He picked up the large gun, similar to his own but a bit larger with a new series of supposedly more powerful components.

He installed the blaster onto Lugnut’s arm and sent him into the testing arena. As the weapon was fired Shockwave measured the energy output, recovery speed and power of the shot. On the third round the weapon malfunctioned, imploding on itself due to a misfire that ended up overloading the machine.

“Oh slag,” Shockwave swore bluntly, not entirely expecting that to happen. He watched as Lugnut was thrown back against the wall, smoke filling part of the large test area. He recorded the happening before taking the weapon away from the tester and working on it for the rest of the night.

Blurr finished with work three hours before Shockwave finally arrived home. He waited impatiently on the berth, tired, but anxious and hot at the same time. As the night grew deeper Blurr considered touching himself, but refrained. He liked saving himself for Shockwave, and he knew that interface would be better, faster, and sometimes more intimate the longer they waited. That didn’t save Blurr from being impatient, though. He tapped his fingers against the berth pad, wondering what could be taking Shockwave so long.

The explanation was both simple and annoying. Shockwave could not leave until Lugnut left and Lugnut wasn’t leaving until they completed one successful test. By the time that happened Shockwave was down to his last nerve and wanted nothing more than to return home and frag his mate into oblivion. Luckily he and Blurr were on the same page.

When he did arrive Blurr was ready to chew him out. Anything he could have said, though, was silenced by the blank face plate being shoved into his lips and the quick stimulation of an already swollen and waiting valve.

“I apologize for being late,” Shockwave said and he poked a claw into his mates valve “I’ve been waiting for this all day,” he growled, giving little time to the claws before removing his spike and brushing the head across the swollen lips, pulling a deep and desperate moan from Blurr. Shockwave groaned “I can’t wait to fill you with Sparklings,” he whispered, slowly inserting the erect spike into the tight wet entrance.

Shockwave rammed into him hard, never letting up except when, through the session, Blurr reminded him what they were trying for. He also asked Shockwave to ease up because he was hurting him. Shockwave grunted an apology and slowed slightly, but not much. As an overload built between the both of them Shockwave revealed his spark, prompting Blurr to do the same. They flicked around, demanding to meet but being held back for a moment. As the overload came closer and closer Shockwave wrapped his arms around the smaller bot and hugged him to his chest. All movement stopped as he exploded into him, a second later the sparks combined, riding the overload with them. After the overload subsided and the sparks went back to their housing, Shockwave continued to thrust for a moment until Blurr overloaded.

“Wow,” Blurr panted, nearly speechless “That was a first,” he pointed out “You’ve never come before me.” Blurr was out of breath, his body still recovering from the stimulation it had just experienced. Plugging while bonding was a first for the pair.

Blurr was released and fell back on the berth. He put his hands on Shockwave’s chest and leaned up to kiss him “So, do you think it worked?” he asked, tapping his fingers against the much larger chest plate.

“I doubt it,” Shockwave answered honestly, pulling out and standing up. He wasn’t planning on carrying Blurr that time but, seeing as he had actually hurt him slightly, ended up carrying him anyways.

The blue speedster was less than interested in any more interfacing. He huddled in the tub grasping his crotch under the water, wincing in pain “You really hurt me,” he grumbled “I think you might have torn it or something, Shockwave, this, this really hurts.” His speech slowed significantly as a blunt pain filled his interface equipment.

“I apologize,” started Shockwave, sitting across from him “It seems I went a bit overboard. You can visit your doctor tomorrow, I doubt you’ll be going to work.”

“That was my plan,” Blurr groaned, struggling to get out the words as his face scrunched up. The warm cleaning solution helped ease the pain a little bit but Blurr wasn’t sure if he could even walk. At the end of the bath Blurr was carried back to the berth and both laid down for recharge. The smaller bot didn’t end up moving at all by the end of the night, and woke up in the same position he started it minus Shockwave’s embrace.

He stood up, a little while after waking, and painfully made his way out of the room and across town. Despite the blunt burning trailing through his valve Blurr decided to run. When he reached the Autobot medical facility he expected to be seen by Red Alert, the femme who usually looked him over. She, however, was elsewhere, so Blurr was told he could be examined by Ratchet.

The former racer almost changed his mind and told them he’d be fine, but after trying to flee and finding that he could barely walk, decided to just stay and take whatever criticisms Ratchet would throw at him. It took more than a half hour for Blurr to be taken in.

“Blurr,” Ratchet greeted the bot sitting on the berth when he walked in “What brings you to the Autobot side of things? Finally come to your senses and switched back?”

Blurr rolled his eyes “I never switched sides,” he explained for the thousandth time “I chose a mate.”

“I don’t see why you couldn’t have chosen a mate on your own side, but to each his own I suppose.” Ratchet wasn’t one to judge too severely. He liked the lack of war but still didn’t trust the Decepticons to stick to their promises. For all of the bots who fell in with Decepticons at the end of the war, he holds concern for them.

Because what will happen to the couples when the war starts again?

Ratchet rarely voiced his concern’s but they were ever present.

The old doctor approached the former Elite Guardsman “So what seems to be the problem?” He asked, approaching the berth and looking over the bot for a moment.

Blurr, suddenly finding himself nervous, and slightly embarrassed, crossed his legs and unconsciously squeezed them together. Ratchet caught wind of this action before Blurr could even say anything. He half frowned, narrowing his optics “He hurt you, didn’t he?” he stated, already knowing the answer.

“Not on purpose,” Blurr countered instantly. A majority of bots on the Autobot side of things immediately assumed that a Decepticon relationship was an abusive relationship. Whenever the matter came up Blurr was always quick to correct or defend, considering his relationship was far from abusive, even with Shockwave’s dominating tendencies.

Ratchet waved him off “On purpose or not, you shouldn’t be interfacing with a bot of his size. Now lay back and open up, let’s see what the damage is.”

Blurr hesitantly leaned back into the medical berth. The doctor threw a sheet across his legs before Blurr spread and opened his valve cover. Ratchet examined the valve and found that Blurr had been both bruised and torn “You’ve valve is filled with micro tears,” he stated “Whatever he did to you cracked a few open and caused them to run together, creating a much larger tear. Besides that you’re also very bruised and frankly a bit over stretched.” He finished his examination and came up from under the sheet “Primus, Blurr, what has he been doing to you?”

Burr shrugged “He’s just—big.”

Ratchet gave a stiff “huh” similar to a laugh “You know, Blurr, the fact that Shockwave is a Decepticon wasn’t the only reason people were surprised when you went to be with him. That was only about fifty percent of the battle.” Started the old doctor, standing up and putting away his examination tools.

Blurr closed himself up and sat up “What was the other fifty percent?” he inquired, curious about what the doctor would say next.

“Well,” started Ratchet, taking the sheet off Blurr’s legs “For one thing he’s massive. Everyone knew what the two of you would probably be doing and the idea of you two interfacing scared me, personally, quite a bit.” He threw the sheet to the side before continuing “And another part was, of all the Decepticons, it was _Shockwave. Shockwave_ for primus sake! The same bot who tries to offline you hundreds of stellar cycles ago. What in the world was running through your processor when you decided _that_ was a good decision?”

Blurr shrugged. He wasn’t sure if that was a real question so he didn’t answer. Another question popped in his processor, changing the subject “Uh, Ratchet,” he started hesitantly, half glad the doctor was occupied organizing tools and not facing him “H-how hard is it to get sparked when you have your spike?”

Ratchet paused “Why?” he asked suspiciously, looking over his shoulder.

Blurr shrugged “Just—wondering.”

Ratchet turned fully to the former racer, shaking his head “Blurr, you aren’t considering having a sparkling are you?” he asked, concerned, walking back to the blue bot “You can’t bring a sparkling into this world, especially with Shockwave! Just think of what would happen if the war started up again, where would that leave you?”

Blurr had considered that, and it didn’t matter. Not at the moment at least. Despite his tendency to speed things up Blurr lived in the now “I’ll worry about that if it ever happens.” He stated “But for now I want to get sparked.”

Ratchet shook his head, wanting to say more on the subject but knowing he could not change Blurr’s mind. Blurr had to make his own mistakes.

“It is exceedingly difficult.” He answered finally “The spike prevents anything from entering the gestation chamber, thus not giving anything the chance to grow. Most who want a sparkling get it removed, but, considering you’ve asked, I’m guessing it’s not an option for you is it?”

Blurr scrunched up a bit “I can’t say I wasn’t considering it,” he mumbled “But more as a last resort. I still don’t know if I’d be comfortable removing—that.”

Ratchet thought for a moment, suddenly becoming curious on something that may change Blurr’s situation “Blurr, when you interface, do you keep your spike in or out?” he asked, gathering the rest of the factors.

“In, mostly, usually it’s out by accident, why?”

“Because, if you keep it in, I think it would be better for you to get it removed.”

Blurr was taken aback slightly “Better? How in the world could it be better?”

“Well, during interface your spike presses against your valve when it’s left in it’s housing. It can damage the outer lining of the valve if it’s left in too much during interface. In your case it would be better to have it removed because it would allow your valve to stretch more, making it safer for you to take Shockwave’s spike. Right now, if you keep doing what you have been, you might not be able to use your valve in another few stellar cycles due to irreversible damage. The removal of your spike would prevent that.” While Ratchet did not particularly enjoy making it easier to interface with a Decepticon, or bear their sparklings, he did not want Blurr to continue getting hurt, which he ultimately would.

Blurr thought on the notion “How much damage would it do exactly?” he asked, trying to purge the idea from his processor, not wanting to admit the doctor may have a point.

“A _lot_ of damage.” Ratchet stated, knowing Blurr would be quick to resist “Blurr, it’s clear to me that you’re probably not going to be spiking that Decepticon any time soon, I don’t see why you need it anyways when it can’t do anything, it could damage you irreversibly, _and_ you want sparklings. You’re in a very dominant, submissive relationship, Blurr, does Shockwave even let you have it out?”

He didn’t. If fact, Shockwave never liked the idea of Blurr keeping his spike but he never tried to stop it. True, he could be considered the “dominant” one, but Blurr was still independent and he’d do as he damn well pleased.

And right now he damn well pleased to keep his spike.

That, however, was an option that was quickly falling out of Blurr’s servos. Blurr preferred not being damaged irreversibly and he did want sparklings. He’d never use it, so why keep something useless that could cause him horribly damage? It didn’t make sense to but Blurr was still hesitant.

“I have an opening in a decacycle,” Ratchet offered “If you happen to change your mind. It is your decision, but, I highly recommend it if you plan on staying with Shockwave. I doubt he’d be happy if his mate can’t interface a few stellar cycles from now.”

Blurr didn’t know what Shockwave would think about that. He began to fear that this could eventually ruin everything they had, which led the blue racer to an even more concerning thought.

That their relationship may be based on interface alone.

In truth it was a terrifying thought, one, for the moment, Blurr chose to ignore. “I’ll uh,” his speech shook “I’ll think about it.”

Ratchet gave a stiff nod “Like I said, I would highly recommend it. Now, on the subject of your valve, I’m going to advise you to keep your panel closed,” he stated firmly “I don’t care if he wants to interface, I don’t care if you both want some stress relief, I don’t care if Primus himself comes to you and demands it! _Do not interface.”_

“I understand Ratchet,” Blurr assured “I won’t interface.”

The doctor half scoffed “Well you’d better warn your mate that he can’t jump your frame, and make sure he listens! I don’t know how you two go about your business but I would assume he can be fairly forceful.” His tone highlighted a bit of an accusation in that statement which he did not mean to voice.

Blurr caught on, however “If you’re wondering if he’s ever forced himself on me, he hasn’t. I wouldn’t be there if he did. I’m not stupid, Ratchet.”

“A lot of times, kid, stupid’s got nothing to do with it.”

Not long after that Blurr was sent home. His middle still betrayed him, sending shots of excruciating pain through his core every time he took a step. Being as fast as he was Blurr hoped he could start running and ignore the pain before it got too severe. He almost made it, flopping to an ever so graceful stop at the edge of the building, his face helping to break his fall quite a bit.

Blurr stood and rubbed his head, dizzily standing up and, for one second, drawing his attention to the pulsing of his newly dented processor, not his valve. It didn’t last long, though, and Blurr quickly found himself back in a rut. He shakily went to his feet and made his way inside, taking, for once, the elevator up to his floor, ignoring anyone who passed through before his stop.

There was a short hallway before the door to his home, a journey he suddenly dreaded. When he reached the inside he collapsed on the couch, not even bothering to try and make it to the berthroom. He winced in pain for most of the day, suddenly becoming aware of how much damage Shockwave had actually done.

When the large partner in question arrived he stared down in concern for a moment before actually saying anything “What did the doctor say?” he inquired, going to sit next to Blurr, who rested stretched out on his stomach “You tore me,” Blurr stated, his speech muffled by the cushion “You tore me very badly apparently,” he sat up with a wince “Ratchet says we can’t interface until it’s fully healed.”

Something in Shockwave’s energy seemed to change, but he gave no reply. It was clear that he was not entirely satisfied by this answer. Blurr suddenly became nervous “It- shouldn’t take too long,” he started, trying to ease the bit of tension that had been created “I doubt it would be more than a decacycle, at most.”

Still Shockwave said nothing.

Blurr half frowned with both concern and confusion “Will you say something please,” he requested, getting slightly irritated, siting up on his knees.

“I hope you feel better,” Shockwave said halfheartedly. Blurr was almost surprised by this reaction “Are you mad or something?” he asked, the irritation growing.

“No,” Shockwave confirmed “I apologize if I seem less than ecstatic about it. I also apologize for hurting you, I don’t like to see you in pain.”

Blurr’s ach grew into concern again as he looked up to his large silent partner “Shockwave,” he started hesitantly, getting a small hum in reply. The former racer fiddled his fingers, keeping his optics on the couch as he asked the next question “Do you—do you really care about me? Like, love me and all that like you say you do?”

Shockwave looked to him “We have been together for ten stellar cycles, my dear, don’t you think it is a bit late to be having doubts?”

Blurr didn’t know what to think about that “I just mean,” he continued “I just mean, is our relationship based purely on interface? Because that seems to be the highlighting factor on whether we get along or don’t.”

Shockwave did not say anything for a while, but Blurr waited patiently for a reply “I do—I quite like you Blurr,” Started Shockwave, his voice getting the slightest bit shaky as though the statement could be a lie “And I find you attractive in many ways that exceed mere aesthetics. But I can’t say that we would have lasted this long without the amount of interface you deliver.”

Blurr was taken aback, surprised by the blunt reply “Is that all I am to you then?” he asked, leaning forward “You just keep me around for your pleasure?” he accused, growing angrier with each accusation that came into his head.

Shockwave shook his head “No, not entirely. I don’t see why this surprises you Blurr, we both enjoy interfacing, but that is not the only thing keeping us together—I suppose.”

“But is it the only thing keeping _you_ attached to _me.”_

“No,”

“Are you lying?”

“Blurr, when have I ever lied to you?”

“Uhh-”

“Don’t start that again. You know what happens when you start that, so I suggest you _don’t.”_

“Technically you started it.”

“Blurr-”

“What happens Shockwave? You get mad? Huh, that’s nothing new for me now is it?”

“Blurr, I have already given you the justification for my actions on multiple occasions, must you continue to heckle me about it?!”

“All I wanted was a stupid apology!”

“Well if it is so stupid than I see no reason for it to be so important to you! I already told you, I will not apologize.”

“It’s one word, Shockwave, one measly little word that you can’t seem to spit out because, oh, you’re so stoic, and high and mighty, and the ends justifies the means and all that good stuff you’ve been feeding me over the years. How can I believe you when you won’t apologize for _that?_ That one little thing that is the only thing I have ever asked of you.”

“All you’ve ever asked of me? You’ve asked plenty of me, Blurr. You ask to live in my home, to give you constant attention, and now you’ve asked me to raise a sparkling with you.” Shockwave sounded almost accusatory, as though Blurr has been a burden on him all these stellar cycles.

“What!” Blurr raged, baffled “We made those decisions _together,_ that was for the both of us! And what, now you’re suddenly against the idea of a sparkling because I brought up a few things I happen to be concerned about?”

“Where did this even come from, Blurr? We were doing fine until now.”

“Fine? You define what we have as fine? Whenever we aren’t interfacing, or talking about interfacing, we’re _fighting,_ like this! Right now!”

“You are becoming irrational, Blurr.”

“ _I’m_ becoming irrational! How am I-! How can you say that I’m being irrational when all I want is a straight answer, which you seem particularly bad at giving because you haven’t given me one yet!”

“I have. I have said no about the interface, and no to an apology and-” In truth Shockwave had already forgotten about the other aspect of the argument. After a moment of waiting Blurr scowled, filling in the blanks “The other thing we talked about was love, or were you going to say No to that too?”

“…I was not. I simply forgot we’d discussed that at all.”

“I’m not surprised,” Blurr spat, letting his anger get the best of him “You gave that question the worst answer.”

“I do care for you Blurr,” Shockwave stated “But I suppose, I _cannot_ say that I love you.”

Blurr’s anger blended with a new found sadness. He had been with Shockwave for ten stellar cycles, never, not once in their entire relationship did Shockwave ever mumble the words ‘I love you’. It might not have been that big a deal had it not been for the fact the Shockwave openly used Blurr for stress relief and openly told Blurr so. The sad realization hit the blue speedster that he may not be more than a pleasure bot to his “mate”. After a minute of silence Blurr climbed off the couch, wiping away tears he tried hard to hide “I’m going to bed,” he announced, his voice impaired with a new found sorrowful disappointment “I’m sleeping in the guest berthroom tonight, I just can’t deal with you right now.” He wandered down the hall and to the guest berthrom on the opposite side of the house from their own.

Shockwave went to bed an hour later, half hoping, despite his efforts not to, that Blurr would come and rest beside him.

Blurr did not fall into recharge until three hours after lying down. By then tears had soaked the spot beneath his head. He didn’t know which part of the argument had upset him most, but something had really dug deep.

Both fell into recharge laying alone on a cold berth.

 

* * *

 

  

The next morning Blurr woke up with the strange sensation of emptiness taking up the space beside him. While Shockwave was usually gone by the time Blurr awoke a part of him still lingered. The messed up blanket thrown halfway over Blurr upon his leave, the large imprint on the berth pad and remaining warmth from where he once lay.

The blue speedster ran his hand over the smooth blanket and undisturbed berth pad. That was the worst argument they’d had in lunar cycles.

He climbed from the berth, still sore from two nights ago, and moseyed into the kitchen beside the living room. He found Shockwave already sitting at the counter, clutching a half empty energon cube in his hand. Blurr approached him confused “Shockwave?” he questioned, his voice small with a remaining daze “What are you doing here so late?”

“I was waiting for you,” Shockwave admitted “I did not want to leave you on such a bad note.”

“Oh,” Blurr sat across from him and rested his head on his arms crossed on the table, offlining his optics. After a moment something poked him and he looked up to find an energon cube sitting right before his face.

Blurr took the energon but did not drink.

“I apologize for upsetting you,” said Shockwave suddenly “I was not lying when I told you I did not like to see you in pain. It is—sad—to me, to see you suffering…You do mean more to me than just interface, much, much more.”

After a moment Blurr let out a breath “I’m sorry too,” he sighed, not wanting to admit it “I know you apologize for things, evidently—It was hundreds of stellar cycles ago, I should just get over it.”

“I can see why you would not.” Shockwave assured. Then standing up and making his way around the counter to meet Blurr “Would you still be willing to grant a kiss to a large jerk such as myself?” he inquired, kneeling down so that he was face to face with Blurr.

Blurr stifled a smirk, giving his mate a light passionate kiss “I’m still mad,” he stated after separating “But--not as mad.”

“That is good enough.” Shockwave stood up straight “I also must apologize about what I said on the sparkling. I _do_ want to have sparklings with you, very much so, actually.”

That reminded Blurr of a different subject they had yet to discuss “That reminds me,” he started “I never told you how my doctors visit went yesterday.”

“I don’t believe you ever got a chance.”

“Do you think I should get my spike removed?” Blurr blurted out, cutting right to the chase.

“You know how I feel on the matter.” Shockwave replied “Why? Did he say something about it?”

“He did…The doctor thinks that I should get it removed to make interfacing with you safer for me.”

“Then I would suggest it as well, I suppose, if you’re going to end up getting hurt.”

“That’s what he told me.”

“Then what is your hesitation?”

“I-“ Blurr didn’t know. Maybe it was pride, or fear. He just couldn’t place it. It wasn’t as though something bad would happen. The surgery was quick and simple with little to no risk.

The reason probably fell behind the desire to stay “normal” and avoid further ridicule. Those who removed their spikes, especially when in a relationship with a Deceptiocn, were often looked down upon. Any disapproval often ended up dwindling into disdainful acceptance, but for Blurr that would not be the case.

If done for medical reasons the lack of acceptance often dwindles. Doing it for medical reasons that included interfacing with a Decepticon, however, was higher on the scale of unacceptable.

Blurr put his hand up to grasp onto his large mech’s plating, barely able to reach his chest plate. He didn’t say anything. Instead he pawed at his mate, getting him to kneel down again.

Without a word Blurr wrapped his arms around the Decepticon’s neck and dug his face into the large shoulder plate “I love you,” his voice shook with a tearless sob “I love you so much, but I don’t know what to do.”

A large hand came to rest on the smaller bot’s back. Shockwave didn’t say anything. He allowed Blurr to do whatever he needed to do at the moment, which was apparently embrace his mate.

Blurr fell from the chair, and, despite Shockwave’s effort to catch him, landed on his knees with a painful clang. Shockwave’s arms stayed around him as Blurr shook “I want a sparkling,” he whispered “I want you to give me a sparkling, I want to bear your sparkling, I want to raise our sparkling. I want it more than anything else in the world.”

“…Have you made a decision then?”

Blurr’s shaking increased. A strange sense of fear fell over him “I must have.” He sobbed.

After another moment Shockwave scooped his distressed partner up and delivered him to the berth. He ran a light claw against the warm face plate and wished his mate a peaceful day before leaving for work.

Blurr didn’t get up at all during the day.

One because of the pain and two because he just couldn’t get himself to. He looked back on ten stellar cycles and thought, and sobbed, and thought even more, because what he and Shockwave had, what they had built over their ten stellar cycles together

Was _nothing_

But Blurr was willing to sacrifice _anything_.

And he was going to. He was going to get his spike removed, and get sparked, and bring a sparkling into this world, surrounded by the constant hate and fear ever looming. The interminable threat of war always on everyone’s processors, never dwindling for a moment, the idea that it could all start again, that _this,_ this could end at any moment, with one flick of the servo that would let slip the dogs of war.

He was going to bring a sparkling into this world and it was stupid. Blurr knew it was stupid. And he didn’t care.

 

* * *

 

  

A week passed and Blurr made his appointment with Ratchet.

The rest of the decacycle passed and he was taken into surgery.

A few hours passed and he woke up, suddenly empty.

None of the doctors bothered to speak with Blurr, only to give him an update on what had happened before letting him go a day after surgery.

His port had been closed permanently, now empty of what once housed it. He returned home to a silent space, filled with nothing else. He laid down on the berth, sore, now in both places, and fell into recharge.

When he awoke Shockwave was looming over him, a mere shadow in the thick darkness tackled only by the lights of the city. Shockwave said nothing. He leaned down and took the smaller form in his arms, climbing over it and caressing the body gently.

They had been allowed to interface now for a few days, but Shockwave had waited, he wanted to wait until he could give Blurr what he truly desired.

A sparkling.

And now that he could he would be as gentle as he could while delivering it. Silent claws etched tiny scrapes gently across Blurr’s warm plating. He cupped the smaller bot’s face plate as the other hand stimulated the already swollen valve. Neither said a word, speaking through touch alone and hearing every note sung by soft moans and light gasps, and small taps of claws against sensitive plating. Shockwave took his lover to a place of pure ecstasy, thrusting into a tight lipped valve that begged for him to go deeper, and moaning into audio receptors that heard nothing.

Their chest plates parted and the sparks were revealed, only meeting when the time came, when Shockwave delivered both himself and his partner an overwhelming overload that filled the valve and flowed past where the spike one stood.

Blurr squeaked at the strange sensation, a small noise Shockwave could not help but find particularly adorable. Blurr sighed as he released, feeling the spike fill him better than it ever had before and forgetting everything that had happened the last few weeks. None of it mattered now, nothing in this moment, mattered more than _this._

Blurr hummed as the overload subsided. He fell into recharge almost immediately after, Shockwave still inside of him.

Shockwave almost chuckled, now wanting nothing more than to embrace his exhausted partner and follow in suit. He did just that, laying beside Blurr and resting a protective arm over him.

It was the most peaceful they had ever been.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning Blurr awoke early, the sun just peaking above the city. He looked at his still slumbering mate whose arm had shifted in the night, thus releasing him.

Blurr stood from the berth and went to take a shower. He stood under the solution for a while, letting it run over his body, cool him down, calm him down.

When he was finished and dry he entered into an empty berthroom, surprised Shockwave had left without cleaning first. His assumption ended up to be wrong when someone tapped him on the back, causing him to jump and find Shockwave standing behind him. He let out a breath “Don’t do that,” he requested, the going to sit on the berth. Shockwave followed “Do you believe it worked?” he inquired, sitting beside his much smaller mate.

“I don’t know,” Blurr answered “We’ll just have to wait and see.”

 

* * *

 

 

A week later Blurr visited Ratchet for a checkup and ended up receiving the best news he could. The doctor seemed much less pleased when he delivered the news but did smile a bit when he saw just how happy Blurr was.

Even if the war did end up devastating the young bot he had this, right now, and Blurr always lived in the now.

He rushed home and couldn’t wait to tell Shockwave the news. When he did the large mech lifted his mate with excitement and spun them around, taking Blurr into a tight embrace. When they separated, still touching, Blurr put a hand to his abdomen, tears threatening to slip from beneath his optics “I’m going to be a carrier,” he stated, finally letting them fall as the realization hit him “I’m going to be a Carrier.” He stated again, wrapping an arm around his lover’s neck to embrace him once again, the other hand staying where it was placed.

 

* * *

 

  

The excitement never dwindled but other aspects of life did. At four weeks Blurr was already showing. The Elite Guard high commands summoned him and interrogated him about his relations with Shockwave, and afterward ended up banishing him from their ranks. Blurr was beyond angry but respectfully left and went home, taking out his anger there. He flipped things and broke things, and right in the middle of it, as his rage burnt full blast,

He stopped.

He lowered whatever he was about to throw and looked down at himself. A hand was unconsciously placed on his growing belly, tiny now but destined to grow. He rubbed his thumb over the tiny bump, his anger turning into happiness for a moment. He didn’t need the Elite guard now, because right now he had _this,_ and this is what he was supposed to be taking care of.

When Shockwave returned home he found Blurr peacefully reading a data pad in the berthroom, away from the mess in the living room and kitchen.

“What happened to the house?” he inquired, approaching the berth. Blurr, upon seeing Shockwave, scrambled to his feet, meeting his mate before he reached the berth “Shockwave,” he started excitedly “I have a bump,” he announced, despite how small and almost unnoticeable it was.

“That tends to happen dear,” said Shockwave, almost joking.

“No, no, feel it.” Blurr insisted, pulling one of the large servos to his belly. Shockwave let his thumb fall gently against the small bump. He rubbed the little thing for a moment, taking a knee before his partner. As he looked down at the frame, now growing into a new Carrier’s form, as he felt the tiny bump of his developing sparkling, something came over him “I love you,” he mumbled.

Blurr came to attention “What?” he asked not sure if he’d heard him correctly.

“I said-” Shockwave started again, almost unable to believe it himself “I love you.” He repeated, then pulling Blurr into a carefully tight embrace “I don’t know why I ever doubted it.” He pulled back and looked down at Blurr, enthralled by the smaller frame. He looked Blurr in the eye “You are going to be a wonderful Carrier,” he whispered “I only wish to be a Sire just as great.”

Blurr smiled. Shockwave was not known to be exceedingly amorous but at this moment he could tell the large mech was lost in thoughts of what’s to come, and right now, for once in a long time, both were content, and both had _this._

And _this_ was enough.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope the requester is satisfied. Keep them coming (but just so we know, I can’t do “gross” stuff, I am actually incapable, I can do interface all you want but there are something I just won’t touch.)


End file.
